Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Flipkart announces flash sale of New Year Resolutions

As per the latest developments, Flipkart, India's largest online retailer has announced a flash sale of New Year Resolutions. A market analyst (on condition of anonymity, ofcourse) hailed the move and said that "This is really a great initiative by Flipkart. Having New Year Resolutions is a cool thing for today's youth and has a mass appeal. However, the youth is tired of the same old resolutions like I will start exercising, I will quit smoking, etc. They want something new. With a player like Flipkart entering this segment, they are bound to get a lot of options".

Flipkart and OLX partnering for New Year Resolutions Sale. Image source: This page

When asked about how exactly this is going to work, a spokesperson for Flipkart said, "This is very simple. You have to register for the flash sale before 11pm on 31st December. The sale will start at the stroke of midnight and the lucky ones will get to buy the resolutions." The spokesperson refused to divulge any more information and added that "The details like the products and service offerings and the pricings will be declared at midnight. Please register and see for yourself".

During Flipkart's previous sale, many people were dissatisfied as they could not get the deals of their choice. When asked about how this has been addressed, the spokesperson clarified that "This won't be a problem this time. I agree that we have not made any significant improvements to our server's capabilities, but we have other plans. New Year's Resolutions are anyways thrown away after a few days or may be weeks. We have partnered with OLX so that people who no more want to keep their New Years Resolutions can sell them to others".

It has been learnt that the Government has partnered with Flipkart to sell "Swachh Bharat Abhiyaan" and "Make in India" initiatives through the flash sale. They also plan to sell patriotism during the Republic Day.

While filing this report, over 10 million people had already registered on Flipkart for the flash sale. Hurry up and do not lose the opportunity.

P.S. This article can be found on Faking News here.

1 comment:

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